Big Bear Pictures

I went to Big Bear this weekend and it was so nice to getaway from the city and enjoy nature..

Tackling Deep Issues; Cupcake

This weekend i went on a road trip to big bear and enjoyed my company and surroundings. 

But right after i came back, things are the same, nothing's different.

Reality has not changed. Problems are still there. and my life is no where near magnificent.

Its so weird how somethings leave such a good feeling for a short while. Such a transient state.

Life is a cupcake if its bad you can't put icing on top to make it better, i mean you can but once the icing is gone the cupcake is still bad and if you consume it you might get food poisoning or just a bad case of diarrhea. As people that's we tend to do, we tend to put icing over everything bad in our life, to cover it up.. But we become disappointed because once the icing runs out the bad cupcake is still there, it still haunts us. 

In order to get rid of our problems we need to tackle it deep in the inside rather than just the out. 

I'm so guilty of putting icing on my bad cupcakes. Mistakes after mistakes i cover it up i'm too afraid to truly fix the problem because of fear, of things happening repeatingly, of me thinking that i'm not good enough because i cant fix it. 

Because i'm so afraid to tackle the problem deep within, i tend to hurt others emotionally and i hurt myself emotionally.. it's an exhausting feeling to not able to face my problems. i tend to run away.. it's so hard for me to be able to open up to people about this, dang im so glad that i am a blogger! hahah. *sigh

My Type of Man ? (Fasten Up Your Seat belt)

My "PERFECT" MAN.

(Dream Man)

Characteristic wise; Someone like Jesus our Savior. (Humble, Selfless, Godly, Pure, Not Easily Tempted, Someone who's not so focus on the outside but the inside, ETC) Good Job, Family Oriented, Generous, Stable, Normal,  NOT VIOLENT, Does not have a violent history, funny, Intellectual, TOUGH SKINNED!

Perfect Exmple: Jesus, Gandhi, Tim Teebow, Dr. Drew

Plays The Guitar or Piano

Looks wise; Blue Eyes, Green, and Hazel Eyes one of the three! FIT masculine man. I don't like guys who are short and BULKY >__<. Tall, height is a must! Good teeth, straight! Good nose! Clean hands and feet! Natural manly eyebrows, no waxes, threading none of that! a manly man! Athletic, NOT CONCEITED.

Never promiscuous.

Perfect Example: Channing Tatum, Ryan Reynalds, Ryan Gosling

MY "REALISTIC" MAN.

(All that i ask for.)

Honest, Faithful, Kind Hearted, Romantic, Family Oriented, and Spontaneous. Hard working is a plus.

Fit, Smells Good, Someone who never puts hand on a woman.

Has a relationship with God.

Sick, Sick Thoughts..

it's Friday. Friday, gonna get down on Friday (Rebbeca Black's voice) 

Seems like a long week this week, I've been nothing but sick.

My head is all over the place, my nose is stuffy, and my body aches.

Jeeesh i feel like an unhealthy old man! (no offense, i like you guys)

I tried drinking medicine, and once again medicine has failed me.

I don't really believe in them actually, they taste bitter and expensive too!

I rather spend $15 on a powder or something

Although.. PHO has done a little miracle

It's truly amazing what warm broth can do to me

But it has such a transient effect, 20 minutes later im back to the coughing sniffler that i am :/

Who has the cure to this horrible disease that turns my nose bright red and turn my face pale??

Bobba-licious

My beautiful puppy, i miss my Bobba, sleeping and waking up next to him truly make my heart skip a beat.

Ever Been So Deeply in Love?

I'm not sure if I ever have, i mean I'm guilty of saying it without actually truly meaning it. 

I guess that's all of us right? We say things we don't mean.

In a way we try to tell ourselves something over and over again thinking that we might actually believe it or feel it. But what happens if no matter what we do, we just don't "love" the other person.

Love is such a deep subject and has so many interpretations.

The one that makes sense to me most is the definition from the bible.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." -1 Corinthians 13;4-7

As mess up as I am, i truly believe Love is perfect.

And everyone, including the heartless ones like me deserve to feel it.

Yeah we may not deserve it, but it'd be nice. 

We as people search for one thing, to love and be love.

Close your eyes, Breathe, and take a LEAP!

Times like this when i have so much time to ponder and wonder and blunder..

i sometimes wish, 

that i was able to do everything i can never do. 

Things like snowboarding, cliff diving, go on a roller coaster, and truly fall madly in love with a soul jeeeshh...

i realize i'm a big wienie, i'm too afraid to take a risk.

Too afraid to close my eyes and take a big leap.

afraid of hurt disappointments and failures

Always doubting myself and tell myself i can't when really i am capable of doing anything i put my heart too.

it's the little voice inside of me that tells me "no", and i just don't understand why

I play things so "Safe", I never allow myself to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe it's just not my time, maybe I haven't allowed myself to. but when is it the right time? This year, i really want too just once, once to step out of my comfort zone. I want to take a risk.